Im exhausted, so much happening here its not funny and I just cannot get into a deep sleep for the last 3 weeks :confused: I just had a sleep before and woke up and threw up I had a dream my little man would die in a car crash WTF i mean this dream was out there so i know its not real!! but It is scarey, you wait so long, for someone you do not feel worthy for, and you spend the 9 months pregnant :freakingout: hysterical and then his first couple of years with sleep aponea and now the disabilities, boy do I feel like Ive failed him....And then I try snap out and go shut the **** up Ky you have babies you are blessed what are you saying, but I know if I don't say it out loud somewhere I am going to fall back into my bubble and that place is so unhealthy.

Here it begins

I realised today that so much has gone wrong in my life since day one, and at almost 35 since I have become an adult I have done nothing to change it!!!

I keep wanting the world to change and I know that it is because I don't even know myself!!! surely knowing myself and liking myself is going to make my life so much easier

I have spent most of my life worrying about what everyone else thinks about me instead of thinking about what I think about myself. I immerse myself into other peoples worlds so I don't have to think about my past and how it has affected it. I have put everyone else in front of myself because I just thought that would make me a better person but it hasnt.

So here I am doing this Blog to see if I can move myself forward and assess who I am and how I can bring those changes!!!

Human potential is the same for all. Your feeling, “I am of no value”, is wrong. Absolutely wrong. You are deceiving yourself. We all have the power of thought – so what are you lacking? If you have willpower, then you can change anything. It is usually said that you are your own master.