Im exhausted, so much happening here its not funny and I just cannot get into a deep sleep for the last 3 weeks :confused: I just had a sleep before and woke up and threw up I had a dream my little man would die in a car crash WTF i mean this dream was out there so i know its not real!! but It is scarey, you wait so long, for someone you do not feel worthy for, and you spend the 9 months pregnant :freakingout: hysterical and then his first couple of years with sleep aponea and now the disabilities, boy do I feel like Ive failed him....And then I try snap out and go shut the **** up Ky you have babies you are blessed what are you saying, but I know if I don't say it out loud somewhere I am going to fall back into my bubble and that place is so unhealthy.